so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize