her vagine was all disorganized.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
We had to coat check the pizza.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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