Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
