Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
