My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
