Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south

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(318): View more from Louisiana

I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment

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(510): View more from California

After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.

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(213): View more from California

your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed

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(273): View more from

Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure

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(207): View more from Maine

There's lube on my homework. #priorities

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