I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
