I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize