3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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