Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
