I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
