Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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