her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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