I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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