At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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