Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
