my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
