We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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