Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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