i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
