I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
