we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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