xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
