just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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