In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
