i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
