Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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