am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
