WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I want to make a zoo with you.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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