sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
