I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
