Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
