the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize