I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
