Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
