Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize