I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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