He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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