What a fucking waste of an outfit
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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