Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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