adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i've created a new STD.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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