HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
