We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
