I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
How does one acquire holy water?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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