drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
