I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
