Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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