i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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