Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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