Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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