I wannas sexs uuuuu
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Hippo gnu deer
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
