On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
