And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
