That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
