but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
