I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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