Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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